BEDA 3: Tuesday Night

So as you may or may not know, I have some pretty crippling anxiety of the social variety, and it's kept me from doing a lot of things in the past. Despite the fact that it's much easier for me to connect with people online than in real life, especially right now given my condition, I'm still sort of shy in that aspect, too. I avoid chats and I've absolutely never video chatted with anyone, even close friends.

But last night one of my good friends on Tumblr decided to start a tinychat, and since this was one of the only times she would be able to (no webcam at home), I decided I would give a try. Little things, especially that have to do with socializing, even if it is online, are very scary for me at first, but as I've learned in the past, the scary things are usually the most most worthwhile. And I figure if there's not much for me in the way of "real-life" socialization, this is the next best thing.

It was definitely a good decision.

Despite the fact that I only really talked to two or three people in the chat (the people in it fluctuated throughout the night), and additionally despite the fact I couldn't really talk much (sleeping mother right next door), I laughed so hard it literally made my head hurt. I'd go into detail, but like almost all good conversations, it was one of those You Had to Be There moments (or in this case, hours). Inside jokes were born, new friends were made, and since this is the internet, an awful lot of it was screencapped and posted on Tumblr. I haven't had that much fun with a group of people in a really long while, and the fact that it was on the Internet with people I've seldom spoken to (or in some cases, not at all) doesn't make it inferior in the least -- somehow it's more exciting, more of a solid memory, and more special that I can connect with people miles away, in separate time zones, practically strangers in some cases, and be able to laugh and smile and share a moment with them.

In short, it was a fun night.