I've been having a hard time lately.

That's the easiest, simplest way to put it. And it might be understating things a bit. When this semester started, I figured things would get easier because I would have school to focus on, and having something to work on and accomplish would make me feel a little bit better about myself. Which was true, to an extent. But the problems unrelated to that have only been exacerbated since then. I continually feel more and more lonely by the day, and I don't know how to fix it. I don't feel like I have anyone that cares, honestly. The only constant who makes me feel like I'm important to them is my mom. I feel disposable and forgettable to everyone else, and I don't know what to do to fix that. I don't know if there's anything I can do.

Few things really make me happy anymore. Almost anything I do is a conscious effort to keep my mind off the things that haunt me when my thoughts are unoccupied. I've been crying nightly for at least a week. And it's really not that terrible. Most days are okay, most of the time. It just keeps getting harder and harder, and I tend to break down every time I think about the future and what it might hold. It's just taken more and more effort to do normal things, and it's getting to the point that I just don't want to anymore. I don't want to do anything. And that's probably due to a lot of reasons, but most of them are things I can't control right now. So I just don't know what to do. I feel lost and hurt and really, really hopeless.

But most of all I just feel alone.